A Curly Hair Journey Update

When sitting in the salon chair, I often tell my stylist to go shorter and shorter with each layer or tendril of curl. No fear is gonna hold me back from getting that curl definition!

Did I get baby bangs when I saw Taylor Russell in Bones and All? Yes. Will Timothée Chalamet look at me the way he looks at Taylor? Yes. Will I become a cannibal? Yes. Only one of those things is true. It had been two years since my last hair cut and Taylor Russell’s baby bangs was the prompt that I needed to join the baby bangs club. I love how a new haircut makes me feel — I feel polished, and styled. Mostly, I feel lighter, free from the length that sat on my shoulders and free from the time spent combing through difficult to reach knotted dead ends. This hair cut confirmed for me that I am a short hair person and this is the last time I attempt hair down to my mid-back.

This hair cut also revealed to me where I am in my curly hair journey. I began reflecting on my hair journey back in 2018 when I got a shag. Also, I think shag haircuts are my thing, this being my second shag and I am loving how this style frames my rectangular face. Or do I have an oval face? I can’t really tell. When I got my first shag hair cut, I really wanted to better understand my curls. That not only included how to care for them and style them, but also, as a Filipina, I wanted to know where my curls came from (curly hair is not common amongst Filipinos) and how to love my curls. You can read about the curly hair shaming I got from Filipinos here. So where am I on my curly hair journey today? It’s still complicated, but I have a tinge more love than before. In the five years from that shag to this, my hair has thinned significantly, and I’ve had two allergic reactions that affected the health of my scalp . Oh, and now I’ve truly entered the gray hair phase. I had my first gray hair when I was twelve, but it was only ever the same two stands. Now the silver stands glint among my black curls. Thank god for old women influencers who age joyfully. Because of them, I was prepared for this moment and I love seeing the strands of silver in these photos.

In a conversation with a friend and her curly-haired daughter, I expressed how good it is to get started early in understanding your curly hair. “Better now at thirteen than later at thirty-three,” I said to the daughter. My earliest memory of fighting with my curls is at eight. My hair was to my shoulders, cut all to one length so I had a triangle head. I’ve had many bad cuts (why didn’t we have the knowledge of layers for curl back then?), some that I did myself and cuts that weren’t meant for the hair I have. I said many prayers for permanently straight hair and overworked my hair so I would both appear more Asian and no longer fight with frizz. But now, at thirty-three, even when I still have my struggles and insecurities, time and experiences have taught me to appreciate what I have. Perhaps I came to this conclusion when my dermatologist said I have alopecia and all the times I cried about and struggled with my hair flashed before my eyes. I saw what a waste it all was. Honestly, the main reason I’m able to appreciate my curls is because more people are embracing their curls, sharing their hair journey, and educating on the do’s and don'ts of curly hair.

So here’s what I’ve been doing the the resources I’ve leaned on:

Sleeping with a silk pillowcase and sleeping with a silk cap. Yes, I do both. Apparently curly hair is prone to damage easily, so the double layer of sickness is the key to prevent damage.
And because curly hair is dryer and damages easily, I’ve sucked it up and taken the time to work with products that protect my hair like heat protectant. I used to be so lazy about styling my curls because I thought it was more work than straightening it. I was wrong. A microfiber towel, good curl cream, heat protectant, and a diffuser are now my best friends.
Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate — this includes drinking enough water to use hydrating products. How you feed your body shows up in your skin and your hair. Feed and water properly!
Know your curl! A simple Google search of “curly hair types” will give you plenty of images to refer to. The info illustrations can be a bit difficult to read, but I believe I’m a 3A or a 3B. I have thin hair as well. That information allows me to know how to cut and style my hair.
Get your curly hair cut by a stylist who knows how to cut curly hair! This does not mean you have to go to someone who has natural hair (though that’s a confidence boost), but if that were the golden rule, I’d be screwed because one, I don’t know any Filipino hair stylist and two, who could cut my hair! If you are one, hi, I’d love to connect with you!
These are two videos I’ve appreciated on curly hair: Elyse Myers’s curl restoration and Jonathan Van Nass’s curly hair tips.
Last, but not least, be brave and adventurous! I have spoken to many women who are scared of trying new things, yet want a haircut that makes them feel like themselves. Or they’ve had one bad cut and resort to sticking with the same look. If I hadn’t experimented with hair styles (hello mullet Victoria!) I wouldn’t be where I am today, confident in knowing what I like. Hair grows back. There’s no hurt in trying a new style.